Nesae 3-4

Nesae 3-4

3- AND IF YOU FEAR THAT YOU WILL NOT BE JUST TO THE ORPHANS, THEN MARRY WHAT YOU DESIRE OF WOMEN, TWO, THREE AND FOUR, BUT IF YOU FEAR THAT YOU WILL NOT BE JUST WITH THEN, THEN ONLY ONE, OR WHAT YOUR RIGHT HAND POSSESSES, THIS WAY YOU WILL BE LEAST LIKELY TO BECOME POOR OR UNJUST.

4- AND GIVE WOMEN THEIR DOWRY IN KINDNESS, BUT IF THEY GIVE YOU PART OF IT OUT OF THEIR FREE WILL AND HAPPILY, THEN TAKE IT, IT IS PURE AND NOT SINFUL.

These two Ayahs contain some principles concerning the rights of women in marriage in the Muslim society: 

1. A man might fear to be unjust when he marries an orphan girl he is a guardian of, for he might have some advantages in marrying her.  He might not give her a dowry or an appropriate dowry, or having access to her money gives him advantages he would not have otherwise.  Then a man may marry other women.
2. Allah the Highest restricted the number of wives a man may have to four.  Before this Ayah came down, there was no limit on the number of wives a man may have at any one time.  When this Ayah was sent down, men who had more than 4 wives were allowed to keep four only.  It is reported that a man called Galman Ibn Salema Al-Thaqafi embrace Islam.  At the time, he had he was married to ten wives.  Allah’s messenger prayer and peace upon him said to him: “Choose four of them (to keep)”.  (D:Talaq;25 & T:Nekah;33 & Ma:Nekah;40 & Mal:Talaq;76 & A:2;13)
3. Men should be just between the different wives they are married to, but if they can not be reasonably just, they should have one only and what their right hand possesses, which are the slave women, which does not apply now as there is no slavery.  There are feelings one can not be just with, but expression of feeling, material things, time, and care etc should be shared out justly.  

Aysha Allah’s messenger’s wife said: “The prophet of Allah used to share things between his wives, and he used to be just in that, and he used to say: ‘Allah, this is my sharing out of what I possess, do not blame me concerning what You possess and I do not’.  (T:Nekah;41 & D:Nekah;38 & N:Nekah;2 & Ma:Nekah;47 & Da:Nekah25 & A:6;144)

Allah the Highest created us and knows the limitations of the human beings, therefore Allah the Highest says to us: “AND YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO BE JUST WITH WOMEN (wives) EVEN IF YOU ARE KEEN TO, THEREFORE DO NOT LEAN AWAY FROM ONE TOTALLY LEAVING HER IN AS IF IN SUSPENSE”.  (S: 4:129)

Then if a man knows that he can not be just between his wives, he should have one wife only.  Allah’s messenger prayer and peace upon him said: “If a man has two wives, and he was not just between them, on the Day of Resurrection he will come with his side dropping down”.  (T: Nekah; 41 & Ma: Nekah; 47 & A: 2; 295; 347)

4. Giving the woman dowry on marriage is a duty upon men, which should paid in full and with kindness.  It belongs to the wife, not her father, brother or guardian.

However in accordance with the tender relations between the man and wife, she may give some of it to her husband if she does so happily and out of her free will.  There should be no compulsion or pressure what so ever.  

There are two issues to discuss:

1. Is it right that a man may not have a second wife except under some special circumstances; such as his first wife illness, or inability to have children?  

The only condition stated in the Quran concerning polygamy is justice between the wives.  Nothing else is mentioned in the Quran or in the Hadith or from the life of Allah’s messenger prayer and peace upon him or his companions to suggest that.

2. The western society finds the idea of polygamy unacceptable.  Yet, polygamy has been with us until recently, and it is useful in many respects:

• It allows a married man in love to have a legitimate relationship, instead of committing adultery.
• This protects the children who may result from this relationship, as they will be legitimate rather than illegitimate children.
• It allows for the divorced woman and the widows to have husbands.  Unmarried men are not likely to marry a previously married woman, particularly if she has children.  They have a better chance with a previously married man or a married man.  Also their children will need a father figure.
• There are times when a large surplus of women may exist, as happened after World War I, and World War II, when many men lost their lives in the war.  This happened also after the Iraq-Iran war when many men lost their lives, creating a surplus of women.
• The marriages after the first marriage, has to be open, known, and not in secret.  The husband has to take the responsibility for the marriage, provide a home and look after his wife and children who have exactly the same rights upon him as those of the first marriage.

B: Bukhari    M: Muslim     Mal: Malek    A: Ahmed   D: Abu Dawood      

Da: Daremy       Ma: Ibn Magah            N: Nesae          T: Termezi